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Scenes from my road.

There are no mountains or forests here, but there are open fields and a full dome of sky where the sun creates spectacular colors every evening. 

The other day I mentioned to Ben that right now is a period in our lives that I'm likely to forget about eventually. We are hundreds of miles apart and I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life or when we'll be together again or where we'll be or what we'll be doing. I have frequent breakdowns over the uncertainty of things and the lack of job postings that I actually want to apply to.

But I don't really want to forget about this time. Despite how it feels, we will end up with jobs eventually, and hopefully they are jobs we actually want. We have the rest of our lives to live together, and the first six years of our relationship will be outstripped. We will be able to save money and buy a house, even if it takes a decade or two. It's easy to get jealous of other people whose lives seem so much more under control and on track according to their facebook and blog, and I've even had to stop reading blogs because the "perfectness" they project or the dream jobs they've landed make me feel worse about my own life, which is ridiculous. I guess the point of this post is that I'm trying real hard to cling on to my early 20's and enjoy life while it happens. Even if it's hard.

pinterest, ohhh man

I have soooo caught the addiction.
If you have too, find me at amv201
My workout board is apparently the biggest success of my life right now...

2012--a people post!

 why yes we still rock Millenium party hats.  and sparkling juice for the under-agers.

 

 half my bridesmaids! favorite women in the world.

classy sister. in from Bratislava!

I call this a people post because it's extremely rare for me to feature pictures of actual human beings on this blog instead of the typical food and nature shots! The benefit of living back at home is that I actually have people around to photograph again :)

We rang in 2012 with our traditional basement party. I straightened my hair and drank lots of wine with my sisters and best friends.

I'm pretty excited to say hello to 2012. I've been looking forward to this year for a while, because to me it represents the year that--in my mind--I move forward in life from student to adult, which has been a looong time coming. I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen this year, except for getting married in October ! I don't know what job I will discover next, or where Ben and I will be living. For now we are back to the long-distance thing, staying with our parents and applying for jobs. I have mixed feelings about this transitional period.  For the past seven years my hometown house has served as a layover spot to dump my bags on holiday breaks or collect my worldly belongings between cross-country moves. I never imagined that I would be one of "those" 20-somethings who move back in with their parents. Well, life is full of surprises and humbling experiences, and a large part of me is relieved and happy to be able to actually spend time with my family and not stress out about school or moving again (yet!). Still, I have waves of anxiety when I think too long about all the unknowns and the job applications and rejections I'll be facing for the next days, weeks, months. I miss Ben and miss having a little life with him. We got an amazing teaser while living in Oregon that is only making me more excited to be married and settle into a new life and new little family together. 

I thought 2011 was the year for huge changes: finishing my thesis, getting engaged, graduating with my Masters degree, moving across the country, facing enormous money and job stress with Ben, moving back home (all in my poor little Ford Focus). I have a feeling that 2012 is going to be even bigger though, and I hope to find peace that comes with knowing my decisions are propelling me farther down the path I'm meant to travel. Only time and more hard work will tell! Life is exhausting, isn't it?